Some "Southern-isms"

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a "hissie fit" and a "conniption fit", and
you don't "HAVE" 'em, you "PITCH" 'em.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' " you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is; in, "Goin' to town, be back d'rectly."

Only a Southerner can show, or point out to you, the general direction of "yonder".

A Southerner knows that when you say "crack" the window, you mean open the window up (in the house) or roll it down (in the car).

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granulated sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl, in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is... They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."
They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

A true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart", and go your own way. (unless you're from Dallas)

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea," "sweet milk," and "light bread".

Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar, and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And "Light bread" is white bread.

And for those that are not from the South, but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on your front porch:
"I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Notice: Due to the climate of political correctness now prevailing in America; Mississippians, Tennesseans, Georgians, Arkansans, Louisianians, Alabamians, North Carolinians, and South Carolinians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES" or "REDNECKS". You must now refer to us as SOUTHERN-AMERICANS.
Thank you!

Some things mean more spoken in a Southern Drawl:

  1. "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
  2. "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
  3. "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
  4. "Have a cup of coffee. It's already been saucered and blowed."
  5. "She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm."
  6. "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
  7. "My cow died last night so I don't need your bull."
  8. "Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining."
  9. "He's as country as cornflakes."
  10. "This is gooder'n grits."
  11. "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."
  12. "I'm just about as welcome at my in-laws as a hair in a biscuit."
  13. "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."