Do NOT order
at the
let 'em cook something they know.

2. Do not laugh at Southern names. (Merleen, Bodie, Gertrude, Joe Boy, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth, Sudie, Billy Bob) These people have been known to whup a man's a*s for less. Just sayin' !

3. Do not ask for a bottle of pop or can of This might lead to a beating.

4. Down South it is called "
It don't make a d**n whether it's Pepsi, 7-Up or whatever; it's Co-Cola down here.

5. We don't show allegiance to any college football team that is not in the (Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, etc.) All others are just a bunch of pansies that play teams like...

6. Don't refer to Southerners as a bunch of hillbillies.

7. We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you. We are also better educated and generally a whole lot nicer.

Since the Miss America Organization's inception in 1921, our Miss Americas have included 22 SOUTHERN GIRLS

8. We have plenty of business sense.

9. Naturally, we do sometimes have a small lapse in judgement...

AKA Bernard John Ebbers
Born: 27-Aug-1941
Birthplace: Edmonton, Alberta,
NOT a Southerner!!
AKA Daniel Kirkwood Fordice, Jr.
Born: 10-Feb-1934
Birthplace: Memphis, Tn
AKA David Ernest Duke
Born: 13-Jul-1950
Birthplace: Tulsa, OKLA
Sorta Southern!
AKA Chester Trent Lott, Sr.
Born: 9-Oct-1941
Birthplace: Grenada, Ms
...and wearin' a bad "rag"

We don't care if you think we are dumb, because we will whup your a*s.

10. We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the h**l up, spend your Yankee Dollars and get the h**l outta here.

Don't order wheat toast
Everyone will instantly know that you're from Ohio.

12. Eat your biscuits like God intended and don't put sugar on your grits.

13. Don't fake a southern accent. This will incite a riot.

14. Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we don't give a d**n. If you don't like it here, take your a*s home. is ready anytime you are...

15. We don't play lacrosse, hockey, or any of those other sissy Northern games. So don't come down here asking the score because we don't give a d**n.

16. We know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we want to and because we can.
We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners do understand what we are saying and that's all that matters.
Now, go home.

17. Last, but not least (actually, this should be NUMBER ONE). DO NOT ever come down here trying to tell us how to make Bar-B-Q. This will get your a*s shot. You're lucky we let you come down here. Question our Bar-B-Q and go home in a pine box.

Folks, these are all intended to be "fun", so don't go taking any exceptions to them. We Southerners can poke fun at ourselves, but any Yankee who even attempts it best give his heart to God, 'cause guess what part of their anatomy is ours...